Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
COCAINE IS GR8
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
