I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
whose parrot is this?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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