There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
