im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
