Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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