hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
