I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well you can't waste a boner
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
