You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
