cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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