Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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