Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize