I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize