Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're too hungover to prance.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
