this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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