i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
