You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
