it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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