im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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