just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
