She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
