Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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