By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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