Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
