He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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