Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
