Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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