Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
