"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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