it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
