no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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