Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rachaelozzy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

Jerry, you need to find god

Fav 17 1011 1484
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

Fav 19 4328 1593
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

Fav 8 4529 1236
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians

Fav 3 2460 1007
share tweet
(619): View more from California

Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..

Fav 13 3237 1099
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.

Fav 16 4238 1223
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

Fav 16 2036 803
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

That's a really terrible idea.

(734): View more from Michigan

Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

Fav 1 697 381
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.

Fav 0 64 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT