I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
