Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
North Korea, Best Korea!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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