yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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