Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
