your room smells of hookers.
And success
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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