HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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