I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
