they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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