So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
