Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize