He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
