you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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