the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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