Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
