Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
