It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im holly from the hills drunk
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
