He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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