Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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