I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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