Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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