We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize