no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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