This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
