none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
