just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
