This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
