Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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