I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
