Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was confusing and full of hummus
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
