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I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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