ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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