And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I supernannyed him into submission
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
