so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
