Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
