So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
