I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
