Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
