moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
