is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
