it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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