none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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